BUILDINGS

I continue to peck away at my new project. Shooting buildings for now.
Nice change from the total craziness of drug addicts and heroin addicted
heroines.

Problem is, though, and I’m just beginning to realize this, buildings offer
no risk, there is really no experience to be had shooting them.

I’m (obviously) shooting locations that are sort of loaded. Loaded with
subtext. But that approach is really just an intellectual exercise, not at
all like going out and shooting people. I’m sure I’ll get bored after a while.

The Israeli Embassy, 50 O’Connor Street, Suite 1005, Ottawa, November 2, 2011

But that’s okay. Okay for now. Next year I’m going to flesh this project
out and begin shooting people. People to combine with the buildings.
Interiors, details and some other stuff, too.

But for now, easy is what I’m after.

Prime Minister’s Office, 80 Wellington Street, Ottawa, October 14, 2011

SPAO OPEN HOUSE

Back in the day fotografers would bump into each other at the lab. Always
running to the lab to drop off, pick up film. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a day.
The lab was a place to get film processed but it was also a social place. Now
we all are chained to our computers and hardly get the chance to just bump
into each other, socialize.

So it’s pretty swell that a place like SPAO holds so many foto-gatherings.
The most recent being their annual Open House, where all kinds of foto-
folks drop by to look, talk and hang.

QUESTION

I’m looking for opinions.

One of the things I did last week while I was in Toronto was, I showed
my finished USER and LIVE THROUGH THIS portfolios to some industry
folks. Looking for reaction and feedback. Looking for a publisher.

LIVE THROUGH THIS received some publisher interest.

Now the quandary: So far the only place LTT exists (besides the dummy
of the book) is on my blog, incomplete and scattered over six or more
months. The web template for publishing it to the web is almost done,
the URL is bought and I’m itching to show the edited, complete work to
the world. One of the interested publishers thinks I shouldn’t do that.
They think I should hold it back until about the time the book comes out.

The thinking is that if you have already consumed the work on the web,
well, why would you buy the book?

I think that looking on the web and having and holding the book are
different things. Plus, it may take a year, probably 2, for the book to
come out. In the meantime the work will not be seen.

I want to know what you droolers think. First of all, would you buy
a book of LIVE THROUGH THIS? And would would you be less inclined
to buy a book version if you have already seen the work on your monitor?

Please respond here (or you can PM me) with your thoughts on this, no
matter what you think. There is no one correct answer to these questions.
I’m just gathering data.

And, to sweeten the pot I will be giving a print of one of these images
to a randomly selected drooler who responds with an opinion.

The lucky winner gets to choose.

Steph holding a bindle of heroin, Ottawa, March 9, 2011 (foto by T. Fouhse)

Stellarton Mine, Nova Scotia, June 20, 2011 (foto by Stephanie MacDonald)

Nite in Toronto

I wrote the lines below on a lonesome night in Toronto, in a mood.

Driving home I was wondering if they were too negative.

Wondering if what was “true” one night, one situation, wasn’t true at
all.

Wondering, too, just who exactly cares about how the hell I’m feeling,
what the hell I think.

Wondering about adding to the noise out there.

Wondering about the hypocrisy of writing about “all the noise out there”
when, in fact, I’m just adding to it.

Wondering about the end of an era, where I go from here, what to do.

Wondering about pulling the plug on drool.

Wondering.

Not that that (wondering) is alien to drool. I’m full of confusion and don’t
mind admitting it. In fact it seems to be part and parcel of my process.

I am willing (and able) to embrace the contradictions in my life and my
thoughts.

Besides, I really only do this (drool) for selfish reasons anyway. Same
reason I take pictures.

Like I say, this, for me, feels like the end of an era. I’m left wondering. I
will wonder here.

THOUGHTS FROM A CELL IN TORONTO

I like small, sort of cheesy, hotels. Not for me the ritzy, luxe ones, or the
designer ones either.

I write this from the HoJo in Toronto, on Roncesvalles. Small room, bad
service, left alone. Suits me.

It’s like a little cell and I’m cosy here.

View of front desk

View from the window

View from the landing

View of the room

Toronto, as usual, is full of sights to see and by that I mean a
seething mass of humanity. I don’t shoot it because I’m not the
type to just bang off some frames and say they are something.
I see people and situations all around me, in the dynamic of this
city, that turn me on, seem ripe for the foto-picking. But to do
them justice, to shoot them in a way that would satisfy me, make
me believe I’m not just adding to the general foto-noise is not my
mission here and now.

There are those who would whip out their iPhone and snap away,
maybe even get a swell frame or 2 or 3. I’m not that kind. Not the
kind who thinks that the best camera is the one you have with you,
not the kind who wants to take and post fotos of what I had for
dinner or some stupid detail that catches my fancy but is really
nothing but some stupid thing that catches my fancy. Small talk.

You might ask: “Well Tony, what are those fotos there at the top
of this post? And you’d be right. What are they?

Noise and illustrations, shape and form and color to break up the
text.

(PART OF) WHAT I BELIEVE

I was dipping in to Jacques Barzun’s book: From Dawn to Decadence
(1500 to the Present, 500 Years of Western Cultural Life), when I came
across his short but succinct precis of the philosophy of Friedrich
Nietzsche.

Now Mr. Nietzsche is much maligned, and sometimes rightly so, for his
misogyny, his syphilitic rants and the fact that his philosophy was often
mistakenly accused of presaging the Third Reich.

I have to admit, though, that reading his books, way back when, I was
astounded by how closely his view of the world and possibilities aligned
with mine.

Problem is, it’s complicated. So I’ll attach Mr. Barzun’s precis here. This
is (part of) what I believe.

I didn’t plan it this way. In fact, the way it turned out was
pretty much fucked.

Three big projects all came to conclusion this summer:
- AMERICAN STATES
- USER
- LIVE THROUGH THIS
Edited, sequenced, post produced, printed and bound
into portfolios.

It was, in a way, all too much. Consuming.

I would have much preferred to finish them up, like, one
per year, or something. But, like I say, that’s not how it
worked out.

Kind of like shooting projects. . .you are never quite sure
just how they’ll unroll.

The last portfolio I printed was LIVE THROUGH THIS and
it’s a monster. 130 pages. A certain amount of text and
bunches of fotos.

LIVE THROUGH THIS

And that kind of feels like the end of an era.

I had always intended to finish USER last year, to be done
fotografing drug addicts, but then, when I met Stephanie
and we started doing our “project”, the drug thing (if that’s
even what LIVE THROUGH THIS is about) really took over
again.

But now it’s over, edited, printed and bound.

All that remains is to try to get the word out about this work,
try to disseminate it as best I can. try to find an audience that
will consume it, for what it’s worth.

And I believe that it’s worth something.

To this end I’ve been giving a few talks about both USER and
LIVE THROUGH THIS.

The first one was last week, at Loyalist College, where I was
invited to show and discuss the work with students in their
Photojournalism program

Views of Loyalist College

I kind of thought I might be ushered into a classroom and be
talking to 15 or 20 second year students, but that wasn’t their
plan.

Instead I was set up in an amphitheater in front of about 75
people. Fine by me.

foto by Kristen Haveman

I ran through the work, trying to key on the fact that I’m not
a photojournalist (these were Photo-J students) but that, for
me anyway, the whole idea of photojournalism, of heroics
and objectivity, are so last century.

Passion and politics are where it’s at.

Not sure how much registered but I think I bent a few ears
and minds and in the end, just like with fotos, that’s all you
can really hope for.

After the talk I was presented with a shirt, etc.

foto by Kristen Haveman

Then a bunch of interested students came up and we had some
pretty swell, mostly one-on-one, chats. What I like best.

foto by Kristen Haveman

THEN

This week I’ll be talking to The Toronto Camera Club about my
work. As part of their lecture series.

So If you are in or near Toronto and if you have the time and
inclination, please come on down and join the crowd.

Details here.

THE END OF AN ERA

So this whole wrap-up-the-projects thing has led me to wonder
about the end of an era.

I’m on to thinking about what’s next, not just in the personal
work I do, but in many senses.

I’m going to take some time to ponder these larger questions,
try to figure out where I fit and what fits me. Those who know
me (and those who follow drool) know I quite like wallowing in
my own perplexity and don’t mind wondering out loud. For me
that’s one of the best parts of being alive: know knowing but
trying to find out.

I’m too tired to talk about it now but you can expect drool to
be a bit about that as the weeks turn over.

Drop by.

All three from Granada, Spain, last year

PRINTING LIVE THROUGH THIS

Been pecking away at printing LIVE THROUGH THIS.

The thing is going to be about 130 pages, mostly fotos but
some text, too. So far I’m up to 88 pages printed.

It was was pretty much edited and sequenced using the
book feature of Aperture….great for looking at spreads
and turns.

As I slot the images into the portfolio, though, I see that I
need to make some changes in order and eliminate some
images. Goes to show that there’s nothing like holding and
ordering actual prints.

And here’s a Facebook message I got from Steph, this past Friday:

SARAH McLAUGHLIN

RUSSIAN ESQUIRE

Esquire magazine, Russian division, is running a bunch
of USER fotos in their next issue. There will be a bit about
the project but mostly they are being used to illustrate an
article on drug use.

Here are a couple of screen captures that Ekaterina, the
Photo Editor there, sent me of the potential layout.

They’re running them small but I quite like the way they
organized the images, their look and feel on the page.