Most of the time
My head is on straight
Most of the time
I’m strong enough not to hate
I don’t build up illusion ’til it makes me sick
I ain’t afraid of confusion no matter how thick
I can smile in the face of mankind
Most of the time

Bob Dylan

Editing some new USER shooting

For me, photography is still about discovery.

And I don’t mean discovering how light strikes an object, or how
“cool” some shape might look in a foto.

No, I’m talking about discovering how I can go out in the world,
shoot, bring it back and make it (my passage through that time
and space) make sense.

And, by “make sense” I mean a few things.

First of all, how can I interact with what’s in front of me, how can
I shape the people I meet and their environment into interesting
photographs? For me photography is a combination of my aesthetic
and social predilections. This process is kind of like mining. I have
to make sure I extract enough raw material to give me options at a
later date.

Then, when I bring all those fotos, this raw material, home, the
refining process begins. I want to sift and shake and shape the
fragments that are fotos into a sequence that will somehow define
that thing.

And, by “thing” I’m not referring to an actual thing. I’m referring
to my passage through the time and the space that gave rise to
the images in the first place.

It’s kind of like a puzzle with no one correct solution, but some
solutions are more correct than others.

Does that make any sense to you?

Time and space. Every foto from USER, for 4 years, has been shot within the red area on this map

If you’ve been following along you know I’ve started shooting USER
again, and you know I don’t know what I’m doing down on the corner.
You also know that I’m committed to figuring it out. And the only way,
for me at least, to figure it out is to go and shoot, look at what I’ve
done, scratch my head, ask myself a whole bunch of questions and
remind myself that it’s all process, baby.

Each year I’ve shot USER I’ve shot it differently. To add interest (for me)
and to show that there various ways one small society can me represented.
The overarching plan is to combine all 4 years shooting into one fairly
complex sequence that will mash up the various takes from the years.

This being the last year I plan to shoot there, the idea is to “flesh out”
my options for this final sequence.

Here are four fotos I shot for USER a couple of days ago. Pictures of
Joce and Alex:

Alex, Ottawa, 2010

Joce and Alex 1, Ottawa, 2010

Joce and Alex 2, Ottawa, 2010

Joce, Ottawa, 2010

Okay, I’m confused.

There seems to me to be something right and something wrong with all
of these images (except the last one, which seems all right to me).

I look at them and try to picture how they could possibly fit in with the
work that’s come before. I feel the pressure of knowing that this is my
last chance to gather enough different images there to round out the
project.

Of course, these are early days (this year). I tell myself to just keep
shooting, to not worry too, too much, that my job is to trust my
instincts.

Add to this creative confusion the fact that I know most of the people
I photograph on the corner. Some I know quite well, others I only met
once or twice before they drifted away. Got straight, went to jail or took
their addiction to some other corner in some other city.

Some of them die.

James, dead

Candace, dead

Bo, dead

Jonathan, dead

How’s that supposed to make me feel?

I’m as confused about this, personal, aspect of the project as I am about
the creative side of it. Probably more confused. I often wonder just what
the hell I’m doing down there, inserting myself into these peoples lives.

But then I get an email like this one:

I was one of the people that you took a photo
of for your exhibit USER. My name is Dawn and
I was in a picture with Kevin. I am no longer using
drugs, it has been 2 years this past June and I was
wondering if possibly you would still have a copy
of the picture that you took. Me and Kevin were
leaning back to back around a pole. I have tried
to find it on my own and couldn’t and may I say
I am quite happy about it. I would like the picture
so I can remind myself that I do not want to look
that horrible or be that desperate again. I really
do appreciate your work and all that you do. I
have followed your work since I got clean. Please
let me know if you have a copy of the picture.
Thanks again.

Dawn :o)

And, while words like this don’t really alleviate my confusion, they do
go a long way towards giving me heart.

So, Okay, I’m confused. Okay. But my heart is strong.

Dawn and Kevin